Sexuality is an important part of life, and an integral aspect of any committed relationship. The more you invest in your romantic life, the more rewards you will reap.
Here are a few simple ways to improve your sex life.
1. When There Are Problems Don’t Panic.
Everyone has difficulty with sex now and then. It’s a part of normal life. Having an occasional problem is not a problem. It’s what you do about it that counts.
Some people react by over-reacting, which only adds pressure to the situation and makes it harder to deal with any problems effectively. Take it easy, discuss the problem with your partner and develop a plan. Don’t pressure your partner to solve the problem.
There is no need to panic. For the vast majority of problems there is a solution.
2. Accept Mutual Responsibility For Solving The Problem
Work together to deal with any problems that occur. Blame no one and just try to deal with the problem as a couple. Your efforts will be much stronger this way.
3. Be Yourself
If you want to be a loving partner and a good lover to your partner, you have to be yourself.
Avoid trying to be a pretend self, or someone other people want you to be. Be honest with yourself and your partner about who you are and what you want. Display your true emotions, react genuinely to your partner and life’s situations, and never pretend.
Assert your independence. It takes two independent partners to form a high quality relationship; each person is a happy and strong person in his or her own right.
4. Strive To Be More Open
Many clients I have worked with have felt they were too reserved or closed about their sexual feelings, likes and dislikes, fears and frustrations. Some couples avoid discussing their sexuality at all costs. Naturally, the opposite approach is better… the more intimate details you can share with each other the better. Try not to hold back.
So strive to be honest and open with your spouse, and fully accepting of his or her feelings, ideas and needs. If you are reserved or have trouble talking about sex, don’t despair. Take one step at a time and give yourself time to change.
5. Increase Intimacy
Intimacy seems to be the buzz word in the world of marriage and family therapy these days. And intimacy is touted by some as the solution to almost every problem. Yet intimacy does not have to be a complicated matter and it ain’t rocket science.
Intimacy is often a reflection of how much quality time couples spend together, and what they do and how they interact when they are together. If you find ways of getting close and staying close to each other, intimacy will take care of itself. Intimacy flows from the quality of your relationship.
You can build your relationship by not leading separate lives. Get busy going more places together… doing more things together… and engaging more in intimate talk (as stressed in the three previous steps)…
and your feelings of intimacy will grow.
Couples who share private moments together and enjoy loving rituals deepen their feelings of connection, belonging and intimacy.
For example, if you and your partner enjoy a meaningful Valentine’s Day ritual every year — it could be your own unique way of celebrating your relationship — feelings of intimacy will increase.
Now if you engage in intimate rituals more often, your intimacy will increase even more. If you’ll find new opportunities for expressing warmth and joy together, and making more time to do the things you both love, your relationship will naturally become more intimate.
6. Seek Out New Experiences
Successful couples keep redefining their relationship and do not sit on their laurels. This is especially true if you have a well-established relationship, and you have to stay on your toes to keep the dogs of boredom away!
Setting up a steady supply of exciting new experiences helps you re-design your relationship, keep it fresh and new. And guess what?
It helps with intimacy.
Be sure to keep opening new and different avenues of expression in the sexual aspects of your relationship, too. That way, your sex life will rejuvenate itself over time, and you won’t fall into a rut.
The key to consistently good sex, besides intimacy and a stable and secure relationship, is experimentation. If you and your spouse are doing the same-old-same-old in the bedroom, you are going to have problems eventually!
No matter how satisfying an aspect of your love life may be, variety is still the spice of life. Mix it up and expand your comfort zone, as long as you go at a pace that both spouses can agree. Keep experimenting for the rest of your life. That way you and your spouse will enjoy a terrific relationship for a very long time!
It’s easy to improve your sex life by:
— refusing to panic when there are problems
— working together to solve problems
— being yourself at all times
— striving to be more open
— developing greater intimacy
— seeking out new experiences
— And don’t forget . . . never stop experimenting!